Black Friday shows you things you never thought you’d need, here are some bare knuckle specific ones.
Black Friday is here, the day of the year where you see things that no one wants, or needs, but one day a year you find yourself buying them. So to have some fun on this day, here are some ideas for things no one wants, needs, or should ever participate in, but as a consumer I couldn’t help but watch one day a year. Here is my list, would you watch?
1. Car-knuckle
Inspired by car-jitsu where combatants grapple inside of a sedan. Just once I’d like to see two guys have a full on fist fight inside of a vehicle. We’d definitely need lots of referees ready to jump in at a moment's notice to make sure no extra damage gets doled out. Am I saying someone should start a whole car knuckle league? No. But if you saw promotion for one day a year two guys would fight in a car, wouldn’t you watch?
2. Bare knuckle booth fighting
I’m not sure what my infatuation is with bare knuckle fighting in small spaces, but apparently the Trigon and Squared Circle aren’t small enough. For those who haven't seen, phone booth fighting is when they literally, not figuratively, duke it out in what looks like a three foot by three foot…room? Imagine Ben Rothwell and Leonardo Perdomo with nothing to do but swing punches. Again, we need several refs on standby, this could get ugly quickly.
3. Tag-Team Bare Knuckle
I’ve seen a bunch of these videos online with 2v2 or 5v5 MMA matches, and they go terribly every time, but for the life of me when the video starts I can’t help but watch. So yes, unfortunately give me 2v2 bare knuckle. I’m not sure how the rules would work, and we’d need boxing ropes to make it easier for the other team members to get in and out of the ring. As bad of an idea as this is, if I saw rivals like Mike Perry and David Mundell teaming up Mega Powers style and laying waste to the whole tag team division, I’d be there with a bathtub sized bag of popcorn I got from a different Black Friday deal.
4. Knuckle Karaoke
Inspired by killer karaoke, where contestants attempt to sing while also traversing through an obstacle course.This one is a little different, the fighters are both singing the same song, if either stops signing the other wins, whether that has to do with them getting knocked out or not is for us to wait and see. You don’t want to hear LT Nelson and James Connelly belt out a tune while going at it?
5. Bare Knuckle Battle Royal
Stealing from pro wrestling again, but 20 guys in a ring the last guy standing wins. Please never let this be a thing.
…….I’d watch it.
When the internet was invented I imagine this is the exact type of information they were hoping it would be used for, if you made it this far thanks for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving weekend to our American readers.
Top Photo Courtesy of BYB.
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